Human Affect

So often we allow the actions, words, attitudes, decisions and judgements of others to have drastic and lasting effects on our lives. Often times, as a result of what others have done and the pain or frustration that we have endured, we as humans want to "blame". We feel as though someone should be held accountable for the bad that has happened to us. More often than not, we blindly push the blame on God. "God why are you punishing me?" or "Why can't God ever just give me a break?" and other remarks.

It actually took me many years and growing in my faith to accept the fact that the "bad" in our lives is not God punishing us. Most of the time when things just aren't going right (in my experience) it has been because of one of two reasons (or sometimes a good 'ol fashion combo):

1. It's been caused by Humans
   
2. My walk with God isn't aligned

So, what do I mean by these reasons? I will try to explain, but I for one didn't fully understand until I grew and trusted in God more. So, for some of you this blog will sound like some crack-piped "excuse" and for others you will completely understand!

Personally, many years ago I had lost faith for a while. I had reached a "low" in life and could not believe that a loving God could have allowed me to go through such pains and situations. It was after many discussions with my husband (then boyfriend) to realize that all those "things" and situations that I had gone through were because of people (myself included), not God. That's when I realized that I would never allow another person's actions, words, etc. cause me to stumble in my walk again.

Naturally, we all say "I would never allow someone to come in between me and God", but you'd be surprised at how quickly and easily it can happen! For instance, have you ever lost your temper because of something someone said or did or didn't do? Then that means you have allowed that person to come in between your walk with God. I struggle with this continuously!

My second reason above, well, do you ever have moments (sometimes many chapters) in life where it's just one thing after another, and you just never seem to get a break? Again, in my own experience this seems to happen when I'm getting off course. When I'm trying to steer my own life instead of trusting in Him and walking the path that he wants me on. God will never purposely bring harm my way or try to hurt me, instead God sets up warning signals with flashing yellow lights to try and get me to see that the path I'm on is heading in a dangerous direction.

This doesn't mean that God doesn't test me from time to time though! Life is full of lessons, some more difficult than others...but no matter what something can always be learned to bring us closer to Him. It may take several years for us to learn the lesson(s), but eventually the blinders will be removed and we'll see it clear as day!

I was reading in Psalms last night, that really reminded me of my own struggles and experiences where I felt like a victim...but looking back on it I realize that many times I was a victim of my own offenses!

Psalm 10:10 - 15 (NIV):
¹⁰ His victims are crushed, they collapse;
they fall under his strength.
¹¹ He says to himself, “God will never notice;
he covers his face and never sees.”

¹² Arise, LORD! Lift up your hand, O God.
Do not forget the helpless.
¹³ Why does the wicked man revile God?
Why does he say to himself,
“He won’t call me to account”?
¹⁴ But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted;
you consider their grief and take it in hand.
The victims commit themselves to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless.
¹⁵ Break the arm of the wicked man;
call the evildoer to account for his wickedness
that would not otherwise be found out.

Sometimes You Need to Recharge!

Well, we had a fairly busy weekend with a lot of family time stretched out from Thursday to today. As always, it is wonderful to spend time with friends and family, however sometimes all the running around can be a bit draining. I actually found this weekends' events to be scheduled out just enough to allow for recharging in between! Of course, all the gatherings include LOTS of food! Since it's all so yummy, you naturally have to try some of everything too (just to make sure that it's safe for everyone else).

I had fully planned to go to the gym this afternoon/evening to try and burn off some of the calories taken in today (we had gone to the gym yesterday, so I was pretty content with that). However, I finally came to accept the idea that everyone should have a day to recharge. So, instead I relaxed with my husband and when he went to bed (since he works tonight), I decided to allow myself a little nap as well.

When I first woke up from my nap, I felt a little frantic like I should be doing a list of other things instead...almost as though it was wrong for me to enjoy some down time and just do nothing. Normally, this would encourage me to start working on something or going and taking care of some errands. However, instead I've decided to just prepare and make dinner and then call it a night.

I think we all need some "down time", and most importantly to allow ourselves this down time without feeling guilty. We run around all week with our to-do checklist, sometimes getting so worn down with the necessities that we forget to put time aside for ourselves and most importantly time aside for God. I'm just as bad about this as the next person, but I am realizing more and more that I actually "need" it more than anything. We seem to need the relaxation; physically, mentally and most importantly we need it spiritually.

So I will enjoy my quiet time in peace and most of all am thankful to God for allowing me this time.

Exodus 20:8-10 (NIV)

⁸ “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. ⁹ Six days you shall labor and do all your work, ¹⁰ but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns.

Wondering Thoughts

This will be a longer post than normal...but I feel it will be more entertaining or strange...depends on how you take it?

Today started off as a slow moving day for me! Took me an hour to get up and out of bed to get ready for work! Yes...an hour...I had set my alarm for an hour before I needed to actually be up, in hopes to have the motivation to go running. For those of you that know me, you know mornings are NOT my thing! Well, big surprise...I didn't go running this morning.

It was definitely a coffee "must" kind of morning...especially with the overcast/sprinkling morning that we were having. You know those kinds of mornings where you wished you could just stay in your PJ's and possibly be by the ocean, until the sun burns off the layer of muck and then you can go relax in the sun. So, to move my morning along, I grabbed a mocha and a cinnamon chip scone from Panera (because I am still on my Starbucks strike) and headed into work. Fortunately, my morning at work was pretty calm and relaxing. This allowed me adequate time to wake up fully in time for my busy afternoon.

On the way home, my mind started wandering...about random stuff too! I take a lot of side streets home to avoid the cluster of freeways. On my particular route, there are a lot of open fields (which is difficult to find in Orange County). Near an old military base, there are these large trees. However, these particular trees are not planted in the ground. Instead, the trunks of the trees are surrounded by large pieces of wood and the entire thing sits on top of the ground, they look like they would be fairly easy to transport with cranes/trucks. (I'm assuming that these trees get sold to people who want larger trees for their property?) Anyways, oddly enough I started to think that the roots of those trees must feel so claustrophobic being trapped all the time in the wood! Then naturally I thought, what an impossible thing to think of, trees don't "feel".

Then I remembered a video I had seen on facebook earlier in the day that had a little kitten playing with one of those hamster balls and it somehow managed to get inside of the ball and just kept playing while laying in the thing. Now mind you, the kitten wasn't exactly fitting too well in this ball, but at the same time it did not seem to concerned about getting out. I didn't have time to watch the whole video to see if it ever did get out on its own, but again, I started thinking do cats get claustrophobic?

Then I just kind of chuckled at myself...why am I so concerned about things feeling claustrophobic? Especially about things that I have no way of helping and that don't even need help! I still don't really have an answer to why these thoughts were popping into my mind. However, I am assuming that it has to do with the fact that there are so many things out of my control (in reality, nothing is in my control) and I just need to accept that. This is an on-going battle for me. Letting go and letting God lead...I'm sure this is a struggle for so many people. But, I really think that I do need to start with the simple things. Those things I mentioned above are way out there, but the fact that they even crossed my mind as a "concern", I find concerning! If that makes sense?

So slowly, I will let go of all the little nonsense things that I worry about (for some strange reason) and know that God has it all figured out and he will tend to everything! Thank goodness...because there's far too much out there for me to worry about! LOL!

So, I end with this passage:

Isaiah 54:10
Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

Moving On

Well, it's been awhile since my last blog and there are several "excuses" tied to that, but to anyone who reads this they are truthfully just excuses. What it has boiled down to though, is the fact that I'm changing directions with this blog in both the literal meaning as well as just my overall life choices...it's time for a new breeze!

So, which direction is the blog going? Well I guess whichever way I feel like taking it. It won't be a cooking blog (per se) I'm sure I'll have the occasional blog about a cooking melt-down or a new recipe that both Jarrod and I actually enjoyed. However, I think I'm going to start tracking the positives in my life!

Too often we let ourselves get bogged down with the stresses, the day-to-day grind, our own personal jealousies, our own self-doubts, and many times we allow other peoples' negativity to interfere in our happiness. If we let all that "junk" take over, then it's difficult to see what a blessing God has given us!

So, I have decided, instead of allowing these negatives to take over me; and instead of finding ways to attack back...I'm going to realign my walk with God and remember that he has a purpose for me here. As much as it is going to drive me insane, I am going to forgive those that have hurt and used me (this one will take some time and prayer), and I believe the hardest hurdle ahead of me is letting go of trying to understand why people do the things they do.

Fortunately, for me I have a wonderful husband, supportive and loving mother and the best little sis in the world; who are always there for me and who love me no matter what.

With that, I will close with a bible passage that is more for myself than anyone else, because I have been just as bad at doing this as so many others:

Matthew 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."

Goodnight & God Bless