Removing the Unnecessary

We often go through life holding onto things that we don't need, there seems to be a little bit of hoarding in all of us. Things we think we'll use eventually get stored away, until one day you go through and find things and they are like buried treasure you never even remember buying. Things you forgot you had, now seem so trivial and you slowly become more and more willing to get rid of them.

Well, I personally think people and relationships can be the same. People come and go in our lives all the time. Childhood BFF's that you never went anywhere without, you no longer talk to; that one guy you dated that you "just couldn't live without" is now the last person to ever cross your mind. Many times it's because you've simply grown out of that relationship; it's not to say that that particular relationship didn't hold any value to you, but more that you just evolved to other people who fit better into the person you became/are becoming.

Many times for me, I go through and re-evaluate the relationships that I have to see what kind of value I'm getting out of them. This may sound very selfish, and yes I must admit, it very much so is. However, when you can go through and look at a relationship and see that in every possible way you have been the one that puts into it and the other person only ever takes...you start to wonder "why do I even bother?" Relationships are a two-way street, and if the other person never gives back or only does so to a degree so that they can look good in front of people, then I'm sorry I have no desire to be around that.

Honestly, I'm not one to really give up on relationships, I have had many friendships/relationships far longer than they should have ever lasted, simply because I give people the benefit of the doubt and hope that one day they'll be there for me just like I have been there for them. I also genuinely like to help people, I go out of my way to try and make other peoples lives easier and hate the thought of not helping and/or being there for them. However, eventually I do wake up to see that I have been taken advantage of, and then I get tired of being the doormat and I walk away.

I'm at a point in my life where I am building my own family, I love my husband very much and will do anything for our relationship. If people in my life cause unnecessary clutter and stress on me, then it causes unnecessary stress on my relationships. Why would I allow such acts to happen in my life? Life is stressful enough without having to worry about what someone is going to do to you next, and if you're constantly in a state of dismay or worry whenever those people call, email, or text....then isn't that a sign that you just sort of need to "clean house"?

I've been praying a lot about this recently, and I know there are still things that I need to learn and understand before "finalizing" any kind of decisions...so in the meantime, I will continue to pray and continue to try and give it over to Him.

Proverbs 22:24-25

Saying 3

²⁴ Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person,
do not associate with one easily angered,
²⁵ or you may learn their ways
and get yourself ensnared.

Perspective

One thing that I am always personally striving to do is to put myself in other people's shoes. I try to see what a person is thinking/feeling and then asses how I should react/act. Typically, the reason for this is that I want to be considerate and ensure that others are comfortable. Many times to people who do not know me, this can come across as distant and/or rude; when in fact it's quite the opposite. I am typically the type of person that will go out of my way to make somebody's life easier, so I observe to see what area I can help with; whatever I can do to help or keep someone else from further stress, anxiety, or worry then I will do my best to do what I can! I genuinely just want to help those in my life, and many times its in the little ways.

There are some people in life who only help when it will benefit them or make them look good in front of people. There are some people who only call or are nice when they want or need something. Some people demand respect, yet never give it in return. Some people require recognition for every little thing that they do to "help". Some even go so far as to pretend that they are another type of person...and then someone requires them to be the person that they portray, and they fold.

It's amazing the walks we choose in life. Sometimes its reactionary; sometimes its "how we were raised"; sometimes its adaptation, sometimes its stubbornness (unwillingness to see the need for a change). Whatever the walk may be...shouldn't it be to praise God and not ourselves?

As much as I try to help others, I am still human...far from being perfect! I seem to have a problem of giving my opinion a little too freely when someone isn't able to see their selfishness. Lately, I have really been having an internal battle with this one. Even the little things are really just aggravating me lately (for instance: how idiotic people can be when they drive - simply because they are being selfish and seem to think that they are the only ones in the world). I find myself snapping and saying things that are pretty rude, to try and get others to see how selfish they are being. I just cannot seem to let go...which means that these selfish people have a hold over me.

I keep praying for God to help me with my anger and annoyance, but I am starting to think that maybe by praying for that, I am actually the one being selfish. Instead, I think I need to just let go and realize that my anger and frustration will not help anyone to see that maybe there is another perspective to consider outside of our own.

Maybe my new aggravation stems from my own selfishness, and instead I need to turn to God and remember that I have no right to judge another persons actions as being selfish. Just because its not something that I would do, or the way I would do it, does not mean that they are selfish. It could very well be because they just do not know otherwise. Does this mean that I have to allow these people in my life though?

Romans 12:2

New International Version (NIV)

² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.